Wie bin ich nicht ich selbst?

Wie bin ich nicht ich selbst?

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angel pointless

i come from a world of permanent war. for millions of years the lords - sovereigns over great parts of the universe - have been making war on each other on the meta-levels. these are superior dimensions between this one and those determining the laws of nature. i was a warrior once. i was one of their best men, a captain, leading the forces into battle and providing power of mind to prevent the enemy lord from taking them over and increase our fighting power. thats why one of the enemies of the lord i was serving hired a very dangerous assassin. he failed to kill me but he cursed me with a human heart. he paid the price. the first emotion i felt was rage and that enabled me to kill him. the second one was regret. not only did i regret having killed the assassin wich was the same kind of creature as myself, far more i regretted having killed all the other ones on the battlefields. all the other demons. yes, i am a demon. my real name is milcom. the curse of having a human heart made me wonder why i have done all this, why i killed all those demons, creatures just like me. i couldnt go on and i didnt understand why. so i had to escape in order not to get killed by my lord for not doing what he wishes. i managed to fight through a sacred place, the passage to the lower levels, this world. when my lord got the message of my escape, he cursed me too so i would never be able to get back to where i belong. only a second after he established the mind connection to curse me, he saw the human heart and he knew, with it i would never feel the need to come back and he changed the curse. what looks like tattoos on my arms are actually the mark of the curse. it says every human i happen to love dies.
for many nights i cried. the emotions given by the human heart caused a lot of pain i had to deal with all at once.
to ascend into higher levels a creature has to fight a lot of fights and proof itself. it has to die, but survive in a way most cant imagine. after that this creature is immortal on the level it came from but mortal on the level it goes to. accordingly a creature descending to a lower level becomes immortal automatically. that is the reason i was not able to take my own life, so i had to bear the suffering the human heart caused. i spent a hundred years trying to figure out how this thing works but i guess noone can ever understand. and just alike, i dont understand how this lower level can be so much harder then the higher ones. humans only have a hundret years to live a whole life. how can anyone here be able to get along with this heart?

15.7.10 15:10


bisher 1 Kommentar(e)     TrackBack-URL

SaphiraJane (15.7.10 15:47)
Hum... ich kenne dich nicht, und bin gerade nur durch Zufall hierauf gestoßen. Erstmal fand ich "nur" das Bild fesselnd, hab dann aber doch angefangen den Text darüber zu lesen, und mich darin verloren. Das ist wirklich gut geschrieben, und... wow (; ich weiß, ich wiederhole mich, aber ich wollte hier unbedingt was drunter schreiben, als ich dann jedoch angefangen hatte zu schreiben... wusste ich gar nicht so recht was.

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